I have questions. I reach for you, for it, for the idea--knowing in reality you are not there. I want my soul to stop reaching.....grabbing air then Ah! I stagger because you are with me inside the ether of my heart. Aghast, I still want you here-now, not there-then. I don't like it. I don't want the nagging, pondering within me to continue, painfully aching the chasm of absence, reflectively reminiscent of "what if's," and "what could've or should've or would've been," becau